the gift of living rural

why are my neighbors so generous?

Harvesting butter head lettuce to bring to a neighbor

Early summer is when all of my neighbors and friends come over and gift me plants. They divide the rhubarb, echinacea, lemon balm, hostas, and raspberries and put them in buckets and come visit me. My porch is full of gifted plants that need to be planted. Even as we enter our 3rd year of living here, it still amazes me how generous people are because I never experienced this when I lived in the city. Is it a rural thing? Is it because I have more elderly friends here who have more space in their lives?

Sara Beth gifting me her lilies and rhubarb plants

Let me tell you about my good friend Joe. When I lived in an old neighborhood in Rockland, I used to walk by his house every day and admire his property. There was an apple, pear, and cherry tree, each of them carefully pruned and blooming profusely. On the edge of his property, raspberries were growing by the sidewalk for the kids who bike by and want a snack. My feet would slow every time I walked by. I had no idea who lived here, but I knew we could be friends.

Eventually I introduced myself when he was having a yard sale. Joe turned out to be a 70 year old man with a larger than life personality. He recounts stories with flailing arms and can make the entire neighborhood laugh. What started out as a casual conversation turned into him helping us repair our plaster ceiling that was caving in. Now he visits me weekly and drops off old homesteading books, rhubarb from his garden, or plants he finds at the dump. He drives over, opens up his trunk and says “Take your pick, all these rich people rip out old plants that don’t fit their style. It’s crazy!“. When I visit him, we sit underneath his cherry tree as neighbors drift in and out for some daily chit chat.

Joe also carves wooden fish and whales that I like to collect. He mixes paint colors from the free section of the hardware store.

This summer when we’re not busy planting the garden, Joe comes with us to our land and helps us manage it. Our current focus is to cut down a few trees that are encroaching on our meadow. He’s been teaching us how to use a chainsaw which is a necessity if you live in the woods. I’ve known him for 3 years but I still get caught off guard by his generosity. He gives and gives, with no expectation for anything in return. My friend Monica who lives 2 houses down from him is the same way. Any time she goes to a plant sale or finds some roasted chestnuts, she brings them over and says “I thought of you when I found these!”.

Joe teaching us how to fell trees on our land

After repeated acts of kindness from my lovely friends here, I’ve started to reciprocate. It’s embarrassing to admit but my motivation early on was to assuage my guilt. I simply felt like I had to return the favor. But each time I bring over rhubarb muffins or freshly picked strawberries, I feel a little bit lighter, and a little more joyful. I stopped thinking about gifting the things I love in terms of “there’s less for us”. Now, if we make or come across something truly delightful, I start thinking about all of the people I want to share this with. I’ve gotten less guarded and a tiny bit more selfless, thanks to my friends and their persistent kindness.

And maybe, that’s the biggest gift of all.

daily picking of French variety mara de bois strawberries. intensely fragrant.

from left to right: asparagus and strawberry patch, fava bean patch (back), garlic bed (front middle), blueberries and tulips (front right)

end of June, peache are sizing up

One thing I’ve loved lately 🌼

This short film of Adam Wilson by Campfire Stories. In a time when it feels so hard to be generous with our time and money and when our country is becoming more hostile, seeing the commitment Adam makes to be a good neighbor moved me to tears. A beautiful glimpse into a world we all wish to believe in.